Monday 21 December 2020

Evelyn Esme Worrall - Birth Experience

    

  So, I currently have two sleeping children. I thought I'd give this a go again. Purely because when they say every pregnancy and birth is different, they really do mean it!

      Apart from having a disgraceful first 12 weeks with bump. The rest of my pregnancy was relatively plain sailing. I was able to keep as active as possible. Probably not as active as I was with Freya due to being in lockdown until I returned to work at 18 weeks. This was actually a blessing in disguise, yes there was COVID 19 in the air. I was able to relax, and overcome the sickness at home with Jake and Freya! After this I was to go to work from 18 weeks to 33 weeks where we'd be on another national lockdown for a further month. I'd booked 2 weekend as holiday before I was due to leave at 37 weeks! So basically I've been off since 33 weeks. It was lovely to spend it with Freya considering she's going to nursery in January. My last walk/run was at 33 weeks around Draycote Water. After this I just walked! Not due to pain or tiredness. 

      So I'll start my story from when I went to the midwife for my 36 week check up. Evie went from a bump measurement of 34 weeks back to 33 weeks. I was currently 36+4 weeks. In lamen terms, babies don't shrink, but it was a cause for concern. She also believed she was still in a breech position. I was booked immediately for a growth scan. I didn't think anything of it. I knew my bump looked quite small. But I was convinced she was just a 'small' baby. I had the same with Freya, having measured 33.5 at 36 weeks and everything was fine. 

      My scan was booked for Thursday (spot on 37 weeks). I went in, they confirmed she was in proportion, but on the small side. She was doing well and head down. The blood from the placenta was still working adequately! I was then sent to triage. I honestly assumed for some reason that this was just to check my weight and blood pressure, like you have at your 12 and 20 week scan... How wrong was I?

      I was told to take a seat, and a doctor would be with me shortly. A doctor? I thought. But why? They've just told me everything was fine?! The sonographer said I'd probably just have a scan every week up until I gave birth. The doctor took a seat and told me how he was concerned that my baby could have potentially stopped growing. Instead of her making an entrance into this world on her own accord, they wanted to induce me. I immediately felt overwhelmed. But Freya was a normal, spontaneous birth and delivery. Why is this one so different? I held back the tears. I'd texted close family to say she was okay, and that It'd be likely that I would give birth in the hospital, but not because I'd have to be induced. I was scared, and anxious. I didn't know what was going to happen. They originally wanted to booked me in for the next day. THE NEXT DAY!!... Nahhh. Which at the time was daunting in itself. In hindsight, I wish it was available so I didn't have to wait 3 days and torture myself with googling everything I possibly could about the induction process. I was booked for the Monday. As the doctor left, a student nurse asked me if I was okay. In shock I looked at her and said, 'So by the end of next week I'll have my baby- here in my arms.' 'Yes' she said, 'a little earlier than expected.'

      When I returned to my car I immediately rang Jake, my Mum and Mother in law. My Mum had mixed emotions. She was upset and worried for me- naturally. But one of the main reasons was because it meant that she couldn't help me through the birth, like she did with Freya. She was my rock. If it wasn't for her in the final stage, I fear I would of had to of have medical intervention, or an emergency c-section. 

Covid stipulated that there were to be one birth partner. If on the Drayton Ward to be induced, they were allowed to stay from the start of the process until 7pm that day and couldn't return (if you were still on that ward) until 2pm the following day. They would obviously be called when the mother was in 'active' labour of course. Towards the end you'll see why I disagreed with this. Diane on the other hand, calmed me. She'd had 4 kids after all. She was induced with Jake. I'm pretty sure his older sister also had the drip with her first.

      The Saturday night I was told to come back to hospital where they'd monitor baby for 30 minutes or so. Her heart rate was quite low. But I honestly believe that was because I hadn't eaten much that day due to being busy. I just lost my appetite completely. The midwives and staff were plying me with biscuits and water. After about 50 minutes of monitoring, they were finally happy with baby's movements and heart rate and released me. From here, I was to ring on the Monday morning to be told when to come in.

      Monday came by so fast. I rang, and they said to come in as soon as I could. We arrived at George Eliot Maternity Hospital at 10:30am. It was so hard to say goodbye to Freya, it could potentially be 3-5 days before I'd see her again. It killed me. However, I knew she'd be entertained being with her Nanny Cats. If I were to be in hospital from Wednesday onward my Mum and Martin would pick her up and also spoil her rotten. Let's say she would definitely be happy as a pig in shit for those 3-5 days. 

      I was monitored for 30 minutes, and then I had an internal. Oo, wow. It was uncomfortable to say the least! I allowed a student to av a go, and cop a feel of me cervix too, like. Cause why not?! It's for educational purposes. They were both lovely though. It was such a different experience to have a hand up there in a hospital bed, on a ward full of other people, with just a curtain whisked around your bed. If you've read my birthing experience with Freya, you'll understand how having my own jazzy room, on a low risk pregnancy ward was compared to this. After the internal, it was deemed that my cervix wasn't ripe enough, and the first gel was administered.

      After this, they monitored bump for an hour. Whilst the gel was uncomfortable too, ie sorry, TMI... My fanny felt like it was on fire! Nothing came of it. I felt disheartened that I'd be in hospital for a while, and have a dreadful experience. Between this time, and the next dose (minimum 6 hour wait) me and Jake were so bloody bored! We tried walking around the grounds of the hospital which they encourage you to do, playing 8 ball pool and me reading. In the end we just did our own thing on our phones and chatted away. 

      5pm came and they weren't happy with the 30 minutes of monitoring. So much so that I was slightly delayed in getting the 2nd gel. On the internal I was told I was 2cm! It was probably at around 5:50pm that the second gel went in. I experienced the same burning feeling, as well as a lubricated, sticky downstairs. Rannnnk. We were monitored for another hour and were left to our own devices. At this point, I was left far longer than an hour. Seriously, being hooked up to a monitor and needing a wee... whilst pregnant is the most uncomfortablest feeling EVER! 

      In the meantime, I had a doctor come by and check the baby's vitals. Purely because my body went the opposite way then it did with the first gel dose. The midwives were concerned that I was now contracting far too many times within a certain time frame. The average was 4 contractions, I assume in about 5/10 minutes. I was having 6! He said it was fine as the baby's heart rate was rising along with the contractions, and then steadying out. He explained that If the heart rate dipped I would have an injection that would relax my uterus and calm baby down. The contractions at this point were quite uncomfortable, borderline painful. A tightening occurred and it took my breathe away. 


I had to say goodbye to Jake at 7pm. It was horrible. He was worried and teary, as was I. He said how it didn't feel right that he had to leave. Little did he realise that he'd be back in no more than 7 hours! ;)

After about an hour or so my contractions completely stopped! I was gutted to be fair. Feeling the contractions made me believe something was happening down there. Not feeling anything only solidified the idea that it was going to be a long road till we met Evie. 

At half past midnight I'd spoken to my Mum, Jake and my daughter on the phone and had another internal. Inbetween this I found myself listening to the 'Pogues- Fairytale of New York' and silently crying to myself. I wanted my Nan, I wanted my Mum, I wanted Jake and Freya. The hormones were just mega messing with me, as well as being alone played a big part. 

Back to the internal. At first, she said okay, so you're still only 2cm. I'm going to apply the other gel. She actually inserted the gel applicator and decided against applying it. I was then told she'd book me in to get my waters broken and for now to try and get some sleep. 

So I did. I rolled over after being uneccessarily monitored. I closed my eyes and was just about to drop off, but it was short lived. I was woken up by the light coming on, and door slamming from one of the midwifes coming to check on one of the other girls on the ward.

This was the start of the point of no return. As you will have read with Freya, they had to break my waters for me at around 6cm. I never had that feeling, or the experience of them breaking by themselves. So, I was lying on my side and I felt a trickle- not a gush. I thought to myself. Nahh. Maybe it's just discharge/lube come out from me being vaginally probed all day. I thought nothing of it until I got the urge to empty my bowels. Yup, attractive. That's the all part of birthing a baby I'm afraid. 

I wobbled to the toilet and done just that. I wiped, and voila the bloody mucus plug was coming away. I immediately started to get contractions fast, and they gradually got more, and more intense. 

Whoooo I thought. I went into labour this way with Freya. Maybe I would follow a pattern?!

They started gradually again. But every time I stood to get off the loo, I was in agony. This got worse, and worse. I was panting heavily after about 10 minutes; crippled with every wave. Everytime I sat, I went for a little bit more of a number 2 again- gross, I know. After not even 20 minutes I thought to myself I can't walk, I physically need to get help now. Even if it was to get to back to my bed and get some painkillers. Nope, then I started crying in pain whilst contracting. I was thinking to myself, 

Gosh Nicole, stop being a fanny

then It switched to... 

Ahhh, maybe I shouldn't give birth on the toilet and flush my baby down the bog hole

I thought to myself, 

I cannot do this. I physically cannot- I'm actually fucked. Hell, where the drugs at. I need an epidural. 

Again I wanted my Mum, I wanted Jake. Especially because I assumed I was only around 4cm. Thinking back to Freya again it was another 16 hours before she appeared. Hell to the no. Why am I doing this!? Why couldnt I have been happy and content with just one tiny hooman! The fear and anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I panicked and called the assistant cord. A student nurse came to my assistance as I was howling in pain. She then got the midwife who insisted on doing another internal to establish how further along I was.

I felt so bloody sorry for those two women on ward! I'm so sorry random women! I was grunting and screaming (not breathing as I should of been. Apparently holding you breathe really exacerbates the pain!). Nina, the midwife determined I was 5cm, and said that she was going to call the Labour suite immediately and get me down there. She asked if I could walk the hallway to the elevator then into the labour suite. By then the contractions were every 45 seconds or so, maybe less. I was in agony. Screaming for painkillers. It's a no from me, Jeff. So I had the poor ladies chucking all my stuff onto the hospital bed, whilst they tried to find my phone so I could call Jake. He didn't answer!! Typical. Luckily his Mum did. As I was contracting I was like, 'I NEED HIM Here NOW. THIS BABY IS COMING!!' she replied. 'RIGHT I'M ON MY WAY!' The irony of all this was that she came tearing it through Weddington after coming off the A5 and got a flash and speeding ticket!! Poor Nanny, and poor Evie. She will be constantly reminded at family affairs of getting her Nanny a speeding ticket whilst being born.                             

I was sped down to the delivery suite and handed to the lady who was going to birth my baby. I was then wheeled into my own room. She joked as I was screaming. 'Okay, lovely after this contraction we're going to help you move over into the bed over there.' It was only like 5ft away, but it felt to me like a mile. I was like, 'I can't! I'm in too much pain'. She said well, 'if you go over there, that's where your gas and air is, so it's up to you. Fuck me I was up in a flash, pretty sure I sped walked over and started chonging on that gas and air. They say only take it when you're contracting. Fuck that! I didn't even have any paracetamol in my system! I was getting so stressed out, every time I was taking a drag of gas and air, the bloody thing was falling apart in my mouth and hand. Not what I needed really, was it?! I was like, I know I'm getting free health care through the beloved NHS. But come on Karen. This is taking the piss! 

I screamed I wanted an epidural. This wasn't the time for ooo I did it without anything but gas and air type of labour. I gave up on my pride! She said, I'm sorry lovely but if you're feeling fullness in your bottom, its far too late. Erm. Wtf. Feck my life. Just kill me now. Well here we go again. Gas and air it would have to do. 

Ooo wait... I needed a wee. I shouted. Wait, Did I??? She said are you sure it's not your body telling you to push? I said, I don't know. I think it's a wee. So she put the bedpan under my bottom. Then I went to relax. If you birthed before you know you kind of tense up so much to the point your bum cheeks are squeezed together, hips tilted forward, purely because of the excruciating back pain! I screamed, I THINK I NEED TO PUSH!! She said okay, do what your body tells you, are we not waiting for Dad then?! "NOOO I NEED TO PUSH NOWW!" The student nurse didn't even have time to put her second glove on before Evie very nearly birthed into the bedpan. Don't worry, they quickly sorted that! I gave an almighty push and I could feel the tip of her head and the infamous Ring O' Fire was awoken. The midwife said, 'Oo would you look at that, a full head of hair. No more pushing, your body will do the rest. Just pant for me'. That relief as they slide out I'm telling ya. Like when you have lovely bowel movement after not going for days. It was utter heaven. Well, it felt like you'd been delivered to heaven having had your vagina prised through blades and nettles. But ooo that sweet child o' mine. Thank the Lord. It. Was. Over.

She was caturpaulted onto my chest. She was a dot, tiny... But she was here. Screaming of course. Bet she was like, Bitchezzz. I was not ready for that! I was comfy in there! That inital scream is just so emotional though. You definitely forget how tiny they are by the way. I didn't even have time to get my cardigan off so I was just in my nighty. They managed to rip my slippers off whilst me legs were in air as I was ready to push. So here she was, in less that an hour I'd went from feeling practically painless, to full on contractions in 10 minutes flat. To put it into perspective, according to my discharge notes. My 1st phase of labour lasted 20 minutes, and my the next stage- only 5 minutes. Ahaha. So she literally shot down that birth canal wanting to get out, so much so that Jake unfortunately didnt make the birth. I was so gutted. He ran in, whilst I was holding her in my arms. He was gobsmacked at how fast she arrived too, considering Freya kept us waiting so long. It was an utterly beautiful birth considering:
1. I was induced 
2. The fact I wanted her at home 
3. I came away unscathed which was a bonus only 3 tiny tears. Ie my foofoo didn't have to be stitched like a frankenstien again! Me and my Mum now have added bantz, that she came so fast because I have a bucket. Common people we're. Oo sorry that is crude. Well I'm afraid Karen's, it just our sense of humour! 

It wasn't all that daunting. I even joked with Jake saying that it was over so quick I'd contemplate another! (I'm not, obviously. That coil is going back in ASAP, I will be a Nun until then). I showered, whilst Jake fed and dressed Evie after weighing in at a healthy 6lb 4oz. So a decent weight. Not the estimated scan weight which was 5lb. 5oz's (they're so inaccurate). After this Jake had to go home, whilst me and Evie were taken back up go the Drayton Ward to attempt to sleep off the shock of labour. 

The student nurse laughed and said as I was helping get all our belongings together and on a caddy, "Gosh, you really don't wait around do you? On your feet, walking round like you haven't just given birth. I said," "You think this is bad, you should meet my Mother!" 

As I left, the lady who birthed Evie further joked (she was absolutely brilliant. All the staff were, but she had my type of humour!) 'Now you, you can come again! Absolutely not, I said. That's it for me. I just wanna puppy now, and our family will be complete. 

I've come to realise that being a Mum of 2 is a blessing. Albeit a stressful one. Its been 2 weeks since Evie entered our lives. Freya unfortunately got a bad cold which coincided with introducing her to her new baby sister. So when she's had a tantrum, it was 100x over dramatised. Apart from that Evie has been a good newborn. She's been eating, shitting, sleeping and pissing plenty! And Freya has been mostly normal! Our two girls are the best decision I have ever made- EVER. They complete me in a way I never thought possible. 

I hope if you read this it helped clear up some uncertainty, especially about the induction process. But most of all, if you made it to the end thank you, I apologise for the errors. I will get round to fully proof reading!